Recently, I have had quite a few new moms with a prenatal diagnosis reach out to me. It makes me so happy to talk to these women who are walking the same path I recently went down. I enjoy sharing our life with them. I want them to see the joy Easton brings to our lives every single moment of every single day. There are so many things I want these moms to know. I honestly could talk to them all day long. But since that isn’t very realistic of me, here are the most important things I have to say:
1. You are not alone.
You are not alone in your feelings of fear, grief, sadness, shame, anger, and disbelief. I remember when I was pregnant the overwhelming feeling of being alone in my emotions. It felt like I was the only person in the world going through this. I didn’t have anyone to turn to, to talk about all this. I didn’t know anyone who had walked this path before. I just kept thinking , “why me?”. What did I do wrong to deserve this? I couldn’t understand why this was happening. After going through it, I know that Easton was made just for me and vice versa. I know that he is exactly the child I was supposed to have. I wouldn’t change anything about him. I know you’re probably thinking, “she’s just saying that”- but seriously, I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Why would I? He’s awesome.
Your child is exactly the one you are supposed to have. Let yourself grieve and feel all the feelings that come with it. You are walking a path you had no intentions of walking until now. Allow yourself time to adjust to it. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can. Take everything day by day, minute by minute, if you have to. You can get through this.
2. Your life is not over.
I remember thinking that my life was completely over now that I would have a child with special needs. I was SO WRONG. I wasn’t even living life before Easton. This life is the life I have always wanted and dreamt of. Actually, it’s even better than my dreams. Our lives are very similar to that of a “typical” family. We just have a few extra therapy sessions.
3. Most importantly- Your child is worth it.
It’s okay to feel all the emotions that you are feeling. Feel them. Embrace them. But just know, that once you have your sweet babe in your arms, you will feel so silly for feeling the way you did. You will feel as though those tears you shed were for nothing because this IS the child that you always wanted- you just might not have known it yet. Be joyful and take pride. You are on a journey you never knew you wanted to be on. But trust me, you will love it.